The first time someone called me ugly made me afraid of mirrors because all I could see was a monster. They called me fat and I lost my appetite, and calling me dumb stopped me from raising my hand in class.
Why apply make-up to something that’s already ugly, why eat when you already weigh too much and why even try your best at school when you’re dumb.
I lost friends because I had built a wall around myself. I didn’t enjoy drawing and writing anymore, and nothing made me laugh.
Hundreds of people commit suicide every year because of bullying, it’s not a laughing matter. Today I got insulted by a group of young boys, calling me hideous, making disappointed noises when I managed to sneak in front of a bus and the bus driver approaching me slammed on the brakes. “Aw what a shame, didn’t get hit by that bus, would’ve loved to see that.” Were their exact words.
People often try to give you advice; “They’re just teasing, ignore them!” Or “If you react you’ll only give them a reason to bully you.” They expect you to act like a punching bag, shove your emotions to the side, dissociate and “Be the stronger person!” But how can you be strong when there are people feeding their own ego by crushing yours? And how is wishing someone dead teasing?
I’m fortunate enough to have an amazing group of friends I can rely on, friends who showed me that I’m a beautiful creative intelligent human being. Friends who made me believe in myself. If this had happened a couple of years ago, those boys would’ve destroyed me.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can kill.